K so it is time to tell you all about my philosophy on life, ready? Jk it is not that serious and I definitely didn’t invent this but life really is all about balance. I believe every mom has three “me’s” inside of her, me the mom, me the wife and me JUST ME. I want to talk about the last one, the ME, you were before you found the husband or had all the babies. The person you were born and the person you have grown into through out your life. Do you remember her? Did you lose her? Is she still even in there?
As a mom and a wife, we give up lots of things that we used to love to do, for our babies and husbands, but what about US!!?? Someday our babies will grow up and leave and we will be left with more time to ourselves. Or you might find yourself divorced for a number of different reasons and you will be there, JUST YOU. What do we do then? Did we give them too much and now there is nothing left? I really really hope not. I feel like we were raised by a generation of women who never grasped this concept of “taking care of themselves”. So how do we know how to do it if we never saw it? I don’t know about you but I want my daughter to grow up knowing she has value all by herself. She doesn’t need kids or a husband to be a whole and happy person. I want her to take care of her self and love herself! So why wouldn’t I want the same for myself, and isn’t it up to me to show her how to do that? YES, yes it is!
I honestly believe it is so important to find worth in your self as just yourself. It is important to do the things you love to do just for you.
I grew up with a mom that moved to America from England all by herself at the age of 19. She left all of her family in England, everyone of them, to come here and visit my dad (who she met when he served a mission in her town). How brave is that? They got married fairly quickly and started having all of us kids. My mom loved being a mom. She was good at it, maybe too good at it. She gave us all she had and I watched her sacrifice her wants until I am not even sure she knew what she wanted anymore. She didn’t have any close girl friends that she took trips with and us kids would call and complain every time she went away with my dad, to the point of her usually coming home early to make us happy. I remember getting to travel back to England with her when I was about 20 and she (bless her heart) was useless at what to do, or where to go. She had depended on my dad for the last 21 years to do all of that “stuff” for her. What happened to that girl that saved every last penny to come here from England alone? Now do not get me wrong, my mom did the absolute best she could with what she knew, but she lost her self. That independent brave young girl was basically gone. I have watched her struggle trying to find her self again over the last 10 years and it has inspired me to be better and to learn from her.
I don’t want to lose that part of myself. That part that at 21 years old got on a plane all alone and flew to Ecuador, where I spoke no Spanish, and found my way to my driver who took me to my OSSO group in a city miles away. That girl was brave and independent and cool. I want to be her always. So how do I make sure I don’t lose her?
Here is what I think, I have to let her out!! That side of me loves things, things she has always loved. Like going to the gym, decorating, being with her girl friends and making people laugh. I, just me, love to go on trips and lay on the beach. I, just me, love to stay up late, binging on shows and eating ALL THE SNACKS! So I do those things! I do them often and sometimes only in little ways. I go to the gym almost everyday. I plan trips with my girlfriends yearly and make people laugh everyday on snap chat;) jk jk! Haha. That is what I love about people like The Allison show, she created opportunities for us, through dance parties, to reconnect with ourselves. I promise if you all find even small ways to reconnect with yourself on a regular basis, you will find so much more balance in your lives!!! Is it easy to do? NO. Will you feel guilty at first when your kids cry as you walk out the gym door leaving them at the mercy of babysitters? YES. Is it even worth all that trouble? YES. You guys, we are worth it. We are worth remembering and taking care of. That is the thing about balance, if you don’t take care of all three “me’s” then they will all suffer. Taking care of just you, will make you a more patient and loving mama and it will definitely make you a more fun and happy wife! Try it and let me know how it goes! I believe in this SO MUCH! Call your girl friends and go out! Tell your husband I said so, he will thank me later and so will you! 😉